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A very common sexual concern among men is whether they orgasm to
quickly. Of course, part of the answer to that question is very
personal - many women prefer not to have multiple hour sessions as
these leave them sore and swollen. But one man out of three considers
that they ejaculate too quickly. A man can suffer a great deal of
self-doubt if he feels he suffers from premature ejaculation, and his
partner can suffer from frustration as well. The average male between
18 and 20 orgasms within three minutes. As we mature, this slows some
what, but experience as much as physical age is responsible for this.
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Even if a man doesn't care to go all night, he
will probably want to last more than three minutes! There are two
questions to ask yourself in order to decide if you last long enough.
One is to ask yourself if you are satisfied when you orgasm. Apart
from impressing your partner, do you feel that you came when you
wanted to, giving yourself the maximum pleasure. The second question
is do you usually come before your partner's. Some women have great
difficulty in reaching orgasm, especially during intercourse, but if
you have multiple partners who seem to expect orgasm yet you finish
before they can reach it, then perhaps you suffer from premature
ejaculation.
If you feel that you do orgasm too quickly,
there are a couple things you can try right off for a quick fix,
although both will take away some of your pleasure, as well. One is
you can try wearing a condom - or even two - to decrease the
sensation. You can also try commercial delaying sprays or creams that
work by slightly numbing the penis. Many men also try masturbating
before a hot date. They find that having come once in a day, they take
longer to come a second time. This can work for many men, but on the
other hand, you may enjoy orgasm with a partner more, and you might
not always know before hand that you are going to have sex.
In order to learn to control your orgasm, you
have to discover at what exact point you cannot turn back. You will
need to masturbate very slowly without a partner, and pay attention to
what you are feeling. At a certain point, you will find the exact
feeling that occurs just before you orgasm. If you learn to recognize
that feeling, you will be able to redirect your thoughts or to briefly
stop moving just before it occurs. Some men briefly squeeze the base
of their penis for a minute till the feeling subsides. At that point,
you can continue. Some men think about unpleasant things like income
tax or being stuck in a cold rain, but also this often does work, this
will also lessen your pleasure.
Strengthening the pubococcygeus muscle can also
help delay orgasm. It is the same muscle you use to stop urination in
mid stream. Try stopping while you are urinating several times to get
a feel for what the muscle feels like in use. It is also the muscle
you use when your penis is erect and you make it bob up and down.
There are exercises you can do to help strengthen that muscle. The
simplest would be to get an erection and make your penis bob up and
down till your muscle gets tired, but never continue till it is
painful. Do this every other day, just like you would work out any
smaller muscle. Then practice using it to sort of hold things back.
Remember that sex is all about pleasure, but it is also about
genetics. Man was designed to impregnate women, and that meant faster
orgasms to allow multiple attempts at fertilization. Coming too
rapidly can often be caused by worry and performance anxiety.
The best
thing you can do during sex is have fun and enjoy what you're doing!
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